My boys

Just think....in 5 years Christian will graduate from High School. In 10 years Cameron will graduate. In 13 years Cody will graduate and my house will be empty. Sounds like it is years away but really Christian is 13 years old and I still feel like he was born yesterday. Life is such a rush. You cant wait to turn 16, cant wait till prom, cant wait to graduate, cant wait to move out, cant wait till 18, cant wait till 21, cant wait to find someone, get married, have kids.... then you cant wait for the kids to sleep all night, sleep in their bed, make their own breakfast, dress themselves.....and stop saying mom every waking second that you are together.
Life is such a rush. I need to stop and smell the roses more often. In a few years I'll miss the "momma" every 5 minutes, and picking up after them, and fixing them dinner. Why does it go by so fast?

There are 2 people I want to see in concert before I die. One is coming to New Orleans!!!

Fleetwood Mac is coming to New orleans next month! I have got to see Stevie Nicks and Elton John in concert before I die. I am so excited! Funny when I was a kid I hated this music. I'd beg my parents to turn it off and tell them how uncool they were. Now every song is a memory. Seems like every Saturday morning I'd walk out of my bedroom and see mom cooking a roast, cleaning the house, and blaring one of many Fleetwood Mac songs. And if mom didnt have it on....dad did somewhere else in the house or out washing the boat. I guess you could say I follow in their footsteps b/c usually on saturday mornings I get up, clean house, cook, and blare the radio. It's one of my favorite things to do.

Anyway...tickets go on sale Saturday morning.

The Candle

More random thoughts from my notebook. Please remember some of these were written when I was 13 and 14 years old. What can i say? I am a passionate person that expresses my feelings well. Dont try to guess who this is about. I can assure you that you will guess wrong.

P.S. *** I cant help what my mind comes up with*****



The candle

Have you ever watched a candle burn
from start to end?
It starts out strong and bright....
warm and glowing
but the closer it gets to the end
the warmth wears off
and it struggles to stay strong
the flame slowly diminishes
and the brightness begins to dim
A few loud crackles and pops
and finally its all over
JUST LIKE THAT
If you want to know how I feel today
this is it. This is how I feel about you
this is how I feel about us
And tomorrow???
Do we light another candle?
Or just let it be?
I am tired of struggling to stay strong.
I am sick of feeling cold all the time.
I am tired of fighting to keep it alive.
I am sick of watching candles burn.
I'll stick to the sunshine.

My notebook

Anyone that really knows me... knows that I love to write. It's just a way to vent my frustrations, remember my thoughts later in life, and express myself. These are random thoughts. Not especially about anyone or anything in particular. It just comes to me and I feel the need to write it down. So.... I am going to start adding them and maybe someone will get something out of it. They go back to 1994 but this one is recent. Though they may sound depressing..... I can assure you that I am very happy and not insane or depressed.
xoxoxo

REGRETS

I left when I should have stayed
stayed when I should have left
talked when I should have listened
was quiet when I should have spoken
cried when I should have laughed
wished when I should have prayed
spent when I should have saved
thought about it but never called
accepted the invite but didnt show
promised but didnt
swore but lied
was rebellious instead of respectful
hated when I should have loved
talked about it but didnt follow through
coveted what I didnt have
Failed to realize I had it all
fought - and wasted precious time
made up when I hould have moved on
loved when it was wrong
didnt pay attention when it was right
failed to say goodbye
didnt realize I wasnt being a friend
wasnt there when you needed me
didnt know it was the end.